Sorabh Pant is the author of The Wednesday Soul and Under Delhi, and one of India’s most popular comedians with over nine hundred shows in forty cities and eleven countries. He is the founder of East India Comedy and has also written columns for Times of India, Mid-Day, Hindustan Times, Deccan Chronicle, Asian Age. His latest work is Pawan: The Flying Accountant.
Arjun Singh is absolutely delighted. He is about to be murdered by a bunch of goons on a terrace in Lucknow. He has sought his own death for eons and his forthcoming murder has him nervously excited. Unfortunately, things do not go as per plan. Much to Arjun’s chagrin, he manages to live. But, things are about to get a lot worse than his failed death.
Arjun is a Chartered Accountant but behind this façade he’s protecting his identity as the last vanara – an almost indestructible specie of humanoids; a power that Arjun would gladly exchange for a bushel of bananas and a vat of rum.
And now, some people know exactly who or what Arjun is, and his capabilities. He is pushed into a losing battle for a country he has no loyalty toward. Worse still: he’s not sure if his services will be tax deductible.
Pawan is a story of a reluctant hero who transforms into a legend in a war he never wanted to fight. It’s a story of the futility of war, political subterfuge, sacrifice and a whole lot of rum.
‘If you’re being raped, call your perpetrator “bhaiya” and he will stop.’ – Asaram Bapu, ‘holyman’
‘Chowmein and fast food causes rapes.’ – Haryana Khap Panchayat
‘(Some) Women protesting rape are dented and painted.’ – Abhijit Mukherjee, the President’s son
Ladies: throw away your pepper sprays. You don’t need them as long as your lips are armed with the potent word, ‘bhaiya’.
Fire at will.
Don’t eat fast food. Eating needs you to use your mouth in front of men, which is just ‘asking for it’. Always agree to any man’s sexual proposition – just say, ‘Yes’, to everyone.
Most importantly, before making any wardrobe choices, do consult with the President’s son. He’s never too busy to help you out with his insightful fashion tips.
OR, ignore these wise words and go out and kick men like that in the grapes and fight back.
That’s what I do. This is that story.
The story of Tanya Bisht, over and under Delhi.